13.3.23
Pranams all,
During Amma’s visit to Kangra Himachal pradesh I witnessed something which was totally a new idea of love and devotion towards Divine mother.
A Kali Maa’s devotee who attended the Temple opening ceremony was observing Amma from a distance for 2 days. One evening he went to Amma and he had a short conversation with mother and that was enough for him to realise who she is. He held Amma’s hand and expressed his wish to sit with mother for a while. He almost became like a small child pulling mother’s hand and took Amma to a room where the Durga idol was kept before the pratistapan. Amma asked me to follow her.
He made Amma sit on one small flat wooden stool and I sat near the door. He closed his eyes and started chanting Beejakshar Mantras with different hand gestures. That is when I came to know that he is a Tantric who practices Tantra (Tantra is a Hindu spiritual practice (sadhana) based on religious and mystical texts devoted to Goddess worship and Shakti (divine feminine energy). His eyes turned red as he looked deep into Amma’s eyes. Amma was calm and smiling at him. Then he said “I know you are my mother who is sitting silently like this, today I will not let you go until you come in your full form, I will tie you with my mantra shakti”.
The room was filled with Amma’s divine energy and for the next 20 minutes I witnessed a unique play of devotion. Amma was sitting quietly looking at him and he continued chanting mystic hymns.
The devotee kept asking Ma to emerge in her Kali form. Where had she been? Why was she being so calm and quiet and hiding her identity from everyone? were his words to Her (entire conversation was in Hindi).
Flower petals flew in the air. He sang to her. He cried. His voice floated like a sweet mist. I sat watching this whole drama.
He was screaming loudly saying “Hey Ma, why are none of my mantras having any effect on you?” Again he closed his eyes and started chanting mantras with fierce hand gestures. Still Amma sat quietly; he became restless and Amma told him “My Child, IS THERE ANY MANTRA IN THIS UNIVERSE WHICH CAN EVER TIE THIS MOTHER? IT’S ONLY YOUR LOVE FOR MOTHER WHICH HAS TIED ME HERE”.
I was asked to leave the room for a while and when I returned I saw Amma’s expression had changed. Her face showed a calm and a storm. Her eyes were like oceans swelling with the tide.
Amma even told him “who do you think has brought you here? It is nothing but the divine Mother’s love“.But he did not care. “I will keep you tied until you emerge in your Kali roopa. I have waited and suffered for years in your love. Today I will not let you go”.
Tantra is a misunderstood and very powerful form of devotion practiced in many parts of India by Devi followers. He was tantric & for the next hour he continued using his methods. Amma just sat calmly looking at him and listened to his every word.
His devotion was new to me and his hands started dancing as if playing with air. He was summoning daakinis, shakinis or devi sevaks and trying to invoke the Kali form of Ma. He was like a possessive devotee of Kali Ma. He even almost started shouting at Amma.
“Why do you surround yourself with people who don’t know who you are? You being so mighty, do nothing. You walk and talk with them but they must be serving you at your feet. Stop meeting people. Stop allowing them to misuse your love. I can’t see my Mother like this; now the time has come for you to come out in your full glory. Again Amma answered him with so much love saying that “those who worship me, those who ignore me, all are mine isn’t it? If I give up on them then who will hold them?“
What I witnessed that day was a devotee’s love and devotion which can make the divine soak in tears. And the Shakti I felt in that room from Amma can never be described in words.
Later Ma told me that I was blessed to witness that scene as it is not for everyone. She said she would visit a place known as ’64 Yogini Temple’. Not everyone can withstand Tantra shakti and so she will select who accompanies her.
My body felt a surge of energy and my lips danced in a smile.
I was reminded of this man who kept telling Amma to emerge in her Kali roopa, not realising that for twenty minutes he himself had switched to a different dimension in the Mother’s presence.
All Amma did was sit there and watch him with a smile that created a light so bright, it shone into the heavens.
What I witnessed that day was a love so selfless and unconditional, but I remember behind that love I saw lightning streaks.
As Amma had told me earlier that day. “See how much energy Amma contains within herself. Just one small taste & nobody will be able to handle it.That is how much the mother loves you. Don’t ever forget that.”
Thank you for this experience that I can never justify with just words, my Mother.
Maria