Those who are in the Shaktipath and undergoing the churning, I hear you, I know your tears and that is how the Shakti Sanchara takes place.
The Sage Dhadichi, who is best known for his sacrifice for the wellbeing of the Universe, where he gives up his life so that his bones could be used to manufacture the Vajra, the diamond-like celestial thunderbolt of the deity Indra,in order to slay Vritra.
Contemplate on celestial manifestation. If the state of Lord Indra approaches you and you have to give up your body to fullfill the purpose. Then imagine the magnitude when Shakti state is approaching you, Leaving the body is easier to offer your bones but being in the body and offering your being is the Jagruta Shakti State.
Your yatra of being something to merging into nothing to emerging as everything is the state of being in Akhanda Shakti Peet. I’m always with you, in you and around you. Blessings.